I've learned over and over again laughter is STILL my best medicine. When this came across my email some time ago I actually kept it because it made me laugh so hard! I routinely go back and read it - tickles my funny bone every time! So, here's a little insight into what makes me laugh...
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women, and loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillancecameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them
in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN !"
And last, but not least
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Walmart
This is another shop sample made from an Amy Bradley pattern and Timeless Treasure fabric. I got the binding sewn on all the way around and realized I didn't have enough! Had to take it all off, do a semi-scrappy thing and sew it back on. That'll teach me to wait 3 years to complete a quilt! I put the label on before I had any idea what I would do with the quilt. My Goddaughter came down one weekend and said how much she loved it - SO I added a name, date, and will send it off this week.
In other news...I've decided a REALLY good idea is to cut and sew the binding as I'm cutting out my quilt. So, I found a bunch I hadn't done that way and took a little time to get them ready.
Psst: Also, please check out the super-awesome Birthday Gift I received from my Wonderful Friend Doris!
